Do you ever just have one of those off days? Ya know, where you are up and down and generally feel all over the place? That is exactly how my day was today. The up: I had some really stellar meals today. The down: I did not have much to do at work and therefore my mind just ran ran ran until I was all psyched out and it was completely my own doing! I also sit all day at work, and that is hard on me. I like running around and staying active, and it is a tough mental battle to sit for 8 hours at work and then have to sit in class for 3 more hours at night.
But, I did have a lovely gchat with a friend from school this afternoon and she and I spent a longgg time discussing what makes us feel good/bad, happy/sad, or content/insecure. We are going through a lot of similar stuff right now and it is so nice to have someone to relate to. (ps I know you are reading this so heyyyyyy girl!) I think I have narrowed down this weird plethora of emotions I have been having lately but I am going to leave it to the wise words of Jason Mraz to sum it all up..."Many people ignore themselves in a situation and look for other people and circumstances to blame, but anger and frustration form from within. Your thoughts, speech, beliefs, actions and attitudes create the picture of your life." So much more eloquent than I can express it. It comes back to the same stuff I have been battling since moving here. I am not being honest with myself. I do things that are fun in the moment, like drinking, and then feel like shit about it afterwards. The bars are a great scene here, but they are quickly losing there spunk since I keep going weekend after weekend without rest. Going out should be something I look forward to, not something I always do just because. Same goes for other stuff I have been up to since moving here. I gotta chill out and remember why I wanted to come here in the first place. I really need to figure out what I am going to do come December (holy shit!) when I am no longer an undergrad. Since my interests no longer lie primarily in my major, I must take advantage of every opportunity to network and put myself out there! I am already looking forward to the weekend, sighhh, to realign my priorities and get my head on straight. My built in bar buddy of a roommate is going out of town so I forsee a lot of yoga, job hunting, and whole foods in my near future. SANS ALCOHOL. I am all done beating myself up, because if my thoughts and attitudes create the picture of my life then I am going to "draw it well."